With the impending arrival of Thing 2, Tyrant Daddy took over all bathtime and bedtime duties, because: a) It is comical, but not practical, for an enormously pregnant woman to bend over a tub of water and attempt to lift out a slippery writhing toddler. b) Very soon I was going to have a new boob-obsessed Tyrant attached to me, so it was time to pass the torch.
All had been going swimmingly until one evening about a month ago, Tyrant Daddy emerged from bathtime with a pained expression on his face.
"You need to go in there," he said.
"Why?" I asked, feeling alarmed.
"Just...I can't deal with that. You need to go in there and talk to your daughter."
Curious and worried I entered the bathroom in time to catch Thing 1 practicing a little...ahem...'curious self-exploration'. I managed to choke back my laughter, talked to her about refraining from doing that in the tub, and then lovingly mocked a red-faced Tyrant Daddy. However, it made me realize that being a father of young daughters could be potentially awkward as they start growing up, so we decided at some point soon I would take bathtime over again and he would stay with bedtime. Sounded like a plan.
Well, somewhere in there I went back to work and a million other things happened that meant we never got into the new routine.
Last night I was trying to get Thing 2 to settle for the night while Tyrant Daddy was bathing Thing 1, when suddenly I heard,
"No! Stop. Don't do that. If you do that I will spray you! I mean it!"
Hmmmm...intriguing... I peeked in the door, and observed Tyrant Daddy aiming a bath toy turtle full of cold water at Thing 1 who was laughing maniacly in the tub.
"Ummm...Are you spraying our daughter with cold water when she touches her bottem?"
"Errrr...yes? It seems to work. I mean, I thought, it works when you're training cats so maybe I should try it...."
Once I had stopped shrieking with laughter, I had to admit that connecting cat training with toddlers was fairly sound logic....
I guess if cold showers have the opposite affect later in her life, we'll know why. Ah....parenting.