Thursday, April 26, 2012

Mothers: the New Werewolves

A guest blog by Nauntie:

While contemplating the vast quantity of urban fantasy fiction I have been consuming, I was struck by an odd and hilarious realization -  Mothers are the New Werewolves.

Physical changes: muscles splitting, ribs stretching, raging hormones, mood swings, ravenous appetite, and subsequent exhaustion.

Heightened senses: From hearing (knowing the baby is awake before the sound registers over the monitor) to smell (knowing the baby has pooped with one whiff)  to sight (yes, that blur was your child dashing for the open bathroom door) these are essential for the survival of you and your children.

Dominance Competitions:  From staring down a mutinous two year old demanding a popsicle, to the delicate politics of interacting with other parents/child care providers on the playground, it is survival of the fittest out there.  Eat or be eaten.

Self-control:  At a time when your patience is being tried as it never has before, your temper lurking just beneath the surface, you must also learn sublime control because you are surrounded by beings a lot smaller and more fragile than you are use to.

Indestructibility:  A small helpless thing needs you.  No more sickness or pain for you.  Not allowed.

Full Moon Affect:  Pay attention.  From gibbous to full the craziness of parents and children increases.  It's true.

So next time you are tempted to be annoyed with an adult with small children around them or wonder at their odd behavior, please take a moment to consider - how would I react to a werewolf in this situation?  It might just save your life.

1 comment:

Defying Gravity said...

Umm... so that moon thing is kinda scary but true....