Saturday, November 17, 2012

False Family Advertising


The plague has come to our house this week. I had a night of misery and a day of fevers (burnt out at last by the combined body heats of the Two Tyrants), and now a sick Tyrant Daddy today. The house is a mess, the laundry has piled up, we have mostly eaten noodles since no one has had energy to run to the store, or appetite to eat anything else, and I haven't showered since...errr....I'm pretty sure I showered....hmmm....awhile ago.
Today the tyrants and I were feeling much better and the sun was shining.  I knew I should be practical and productive but I just couldn't get motivated. Even though there were cheerios liberally planted in all the corners of the living room, and only one clean bottle left in a six mile radius.  I had that moment when all I wanted to do was put on mascara and some sassy boots and go somewhere where SOMEONE who I wasn't related to would see me (this is difficult in a town of 700 citizens that your family has lived in for 6 generations...).
 I threw the Tyrants into their "nice" clothes (As opposed to their "play" clothes. Actually, pretty much all our clothes are "play" clothes, but there are a few items that are always the last to get "played" in, so they are the "nice" clothes by default.  These were also the only clean clothes available.), put on boots and a happy coat, grabbed a snack or two for the girls and drove -
TO THE BANK. 
WOOHOO!!! Party time, girls!

Ok, so there isn't a lot to do in our town. We work with what we got.

When we first moved here, we were foolish enough to let Thing 1 have a candy when we went to the bank, and she has never forgotten.  As we were driving the conversation went like this:

Thing 1:
"Maybe we have a LOLLY POP, Momma? Maybe they have one for ME? Maybe?"
Me: (lying)
"Ooooo, I don't know if they have any lollypops, Honey. We'll just have to see, ok?  Here, why don't you eat this carrot stick instead?"
Thing 1:
"Ooooo! Dat sounds good! Thank you Mommy! One for Mia, too?"
Me:
"Yes, I have one for Mia too."

And so it was that I pulled into the drive thru window with two clean, well dressed toddlers, happily chewing on carrot sticks in a clean car (not mine, I was borrowing my sister's), while I (in my mascara and lip gloss brilliance) filled out my deposit slip.

Bank Teller:
"Oh, look at you girls! Eating so healthy! What a healthy snack!"
Me:
"Well, we try sometimes."
Bank Teller:
"Aren't you girls just sooooo cute!"
Me:
"They can be...sometimes..."  
Bank Teller:
"What a good Momma you have girls!" (sending out deposit slip)
Thing 1:
"HMmammmaaa LLLlollllppppaa?" (Hey Momma, do they have a lollypop? through a mouthful of carrot.)
Me:
"Ah, thank you! Say thank you girls! Thank you! Ba-bye!"

Somehow it is comforting to know that even though I am sitting here still unshowered, with at least twelve thousands loads of laundry waiting to be done in the morning, and a sleep walking teething toddler fussing in the room next door, that there is another human being in the area who witnessed me being a good mother for a brief moment in time - even if it was false advertising. (And she might have been a second cousin... )

1 comment:

MPenna said...

Hey . . . you had a clean bottle! That's a WIN! :D