Sunday, January 1, 2012

Sweaty Mouth Prevention

The reason why Thing 1's face smells so fresh and clean this evening (in a manly, musky sort of way) is because while I was attempting to get Thing 2 down for a nap this afternoon, she found her way into the bathroom.  She had climbed onto the toilet, fished out her father's spare stick of deodorant, and had just removed the cap when I found her:
"Smells like Daddy!" she informed me with delight,  nodding emphatically, "YES, smells like Daddy!"
She then proceeded to RUB the deodorant onto her cheeks, nose and mouth while I stood frozen in horror.
"NO! We do not put that on our faces! That is not lotion!" I shrieked while attempting to remove the deodorant from her hand without smearing more on her person, fish the cap from behind the toilet where it was making friends with the dust bunnies and replace it, and lift Thing 1 down from the toilet with one hand while holding a fascinated Thing 2 with the other. "We DO NOT put that on our FACES!"
As I was desperately looking for a clean washcloth, Thing 1 stood staring at me in the doorway of the bathroom with giant innocent eyes.
Then she LICKED her deodorant smeared lips and said, "Mmmmmmmm....I like it! I LIKE IT!" nodding emphatically again.  "Smells like Daddy. Nummy. I LIKE it! More?"
"No. Wash your face." I said as I tried not to gag and handed her a soapy washcloth.
She looked at it for a moment, shoved it's soapy goodness in her mouth, and began sucking noisily.
"NOOOO!" I wailed, "Don't suck on it! WASH WITH IT!"
 Then she dodged out of my frantic reach and ran from the room, declaring to the house at large; "Mmmmmmm!!!! I LIKE IT!!!! NUMMY!!!! I LIKE IT!"
Which is why, if you were to kiss  my daughter good night, you may have caught a whiff of Irish Spring mixed with Old Spice.
At least she won't have a sweaty mouth.

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